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NAME: NICOLE
AGE: 19
LOC: LONDON, UK
© © ©

I'm a pretty big nerd, if you haven't noticed from my name. I have an obsession with my weight, as shown by my diet blog. I'm sort of a crazy person, mostly because of my random mix of interests, ranging from fashion to Pokemon to Marilyn Manson. I'm intelligent, but I don't like to only be known that way. I have lots of friends but very few I'm close to. I'm in love with my best friend and boyfriend, David. I'm on a journey to simplify my life.

omg its a nicole

THE INFO
LOVES & HATES
♥ David <3
♥ white tee's and skinny jeans
♥ reading&writing
♥ obscure history
♥ weird people
♥ music that makes me dance
♥ addictive video games

stupidity
veggie burgers
revolving doors
following trends


CRANK IT UP
BUSY LIST
- weigh 125 lbs
- win the lottery
- develop a useless talent




CREDITS

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Name: Nicole
Birthday: 12/26/1990
Gender: Female


Message: message me


Member Since: 7/16/2009

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love letters, 3am chats and making out in the rain
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*transcendentalists*
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 Writer's Outlet 
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because it made you smile
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i've got the hots for awkward boys
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give me a cup of coffee and a deep conversation.
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the art of being
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and by god, there will be dancing.
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Nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it.
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The world needs more love letters.
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Monday, April 12, 2010

The most important question in search for inner acceptance...



Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/


Thursday, March 04, 2010

MarbleHornets: Bending Reality

I was creeping around LiveJournal today, as I do when I'm bored and read all the featured blogs on Xanga, and one of their featured communities is for creepy stories. Well, I love creepy stories! I live on urban legends and abandoned places and paranormal. So I joined it, and read the first page's posts, and came across one linking to the Youtube channel of MarbleHornets.

I've watched over half the videos so far, and at the very beginning I figured they could be real occurrences. After I think Entry #9, I figured it was probably just a very well done video project. But it's not just a video project.

It's great.

To get the feel of what it's about, I'm just copying down the transcript of the Introduction video.

The following clips are raw footage excerpts from Alex Kralie. A college friend of mine. In 2006, Alex was in the process of shooting his student film, entitled Marble Hornets. Over the three months that this took place, his film crew complained of his increasing levels of stress and irritability. Near the end of shooting, Alex halted production indefinitely and dropped the unfinished project. He told me it was due to the "unworkable conditions" on his set, which was less than a mile away from his house.I asked what he planned to do with the countless number of tapes he had filled. "Burn them."

Being a film student myself, I hated to see all of his work go to waste. And after some coercing he agreed to give them to me. Under the condition that I never mention it to him again. Soon after, Alex transferred to another school and I haven't seen him since. At the time, I was too unnerved to look through the tapes, and eventually forgot about them. A few days ago I found them filed away in the back of my closet. After three years and zero contact with Alex, I have decided to look through them. All the tapes are unnumbered and missing timestamps. Other than taking place in the summer of 2006, it is impossible to determine the exact order or date of each. Should I find anything in any of them I will upload it to keep as a permanent record.

Naturally the videos get massively creepy as they go along. I did some research on it and found out it's an ARG, or alternative reality game, which "an interactive narrative that uses the real world as a platform, often involving multiple media and game elements, to tell a story that may be affected by participants' ideas or actions" (Wikipedia).

Part of me wishes this whole MarbleHornets story was true, but I guess I'm glad it's not. For now I'll just bask in how interesting it is.


Tuesday, March 02, 2010

amazement

So I haven't been a very religious person in forever. But I actually pretty much love my boyfriend's church, and the way they do things. You know, the Christianity I was brought up with was full of intolerance and condemnation and legalism and formality. While I liked my church (my pastor was gay, which is awesome), I resented all the intolerance, and all the "if you're not with us, you're against us" mindset.

However, I think I've found a Christianity that isn't about all that. David's church is actually just about God's love, and feeling his presence, and having a personal relationship with the Lord rather than just worship and ritual. The Vineyard is loves their worship, but its not all those over-sung hymns that have lost their meaning throughout the years. They use songs written by modern Christian artists who can feel God's presence. Sure, I prefer some songs to others, but in general its not about who's going to hell, but to love God because of the things He provides. It's finally not about fearing Him because of the wrath he has the potential to wreak on humanity.

They have this thing called "Healing on the Streets" where the church leaders, and anyone who wants to help out, go to the streets and offer prayers for people who need them, no matter what the religion. Some amazing miracles have happened: there are those people with back pain because one leg is shorter than the other, and after prayer their shorter leg has grown to match the other. A boy who was deaf without a hearing aid began to hear. A man with hearing, sight, and strength problems after a stroke is seeing improvement, for no reason other than believing in Jesus.

However small, these are the things that make me believe in the words of the Lord. It's not about escaping hell, its about embracing the gifts God has given to us. It's not about who's the sinner, it's about being saved and being validated just by the sacrifice of Jesus.

I found some of the sermons incredibly helpful. Some are recorded and made into podcasts, which is awesome. There was one on God's Mercy that finally made me understand a lot of things about some principles of Christianity. Like, why did God need to sacrifice his Son? It's answered. The one this week made me realize, also, something I had been thinking opposite. For me it's been about, am I good enough for God? Even though I accept Jesus as my savior, is God actually going to let me into heaven after I strayed and did wrong? The answer is yes. Jesus is my advocate, and better yet he is also my judge. He is for everyone, He will embrace and affirm everyone, as long as you affirm Him. I finally understand. It's taken 19 years, but I cam to understand so much more in the past 5 months than I ever thought I would.


Friday, February 19, 2010

Why I'm the Anti-Uni

Here's the thing. I don't smoke. I rarely drink. I'm broke. I don't care for rich people. And I prefer conversations about books and ideas to conversations about drugs and other people. I'm not cut out for the social aspects of university.

Why is it I can't find someone who I can have a real intellectual conversation with? I'm talking like, about life and purpose and stuff, not about what (or who) you did last night, and why this guy sucks and this girl is a bitch. Is this really that much to ask? I had one of those people in high school. I had a couple, actually, who actually had the brain capacity to stop thinking about their little world and could think about why we're here, you know, the philosophical and psychological and metaphysical shit.

I'm thinking that somewhere has to be one of those people. Just maybe not at this uni.

Or, at least, I want a Jeanne. My best Asian friend xD I need a London version. Or I can always pack her in my luggage.

At least I'm going home soon.


Thursday, February 18, 2010

lonesome

It's a something I should technically feel. But oddly enough, I don't. Even though I can count on one hand the amount of people in England I'm close enough to to call my friends. And only two are people I see on a regular basis.

I think I was born too self-sufficient. To easily amused by my isolation. Too eager to stay an island. I'm difficult to become friends with because I don't feel I need anything else. Not what those around me can give.

My expectations in friendships are too high. I look for someone I can sit in Hyde Park with and talk about books and philosophy and ideas, but I come out with people who care about getting wasted and getting laid.

That's all AIU is, really. Rich slackers, who would rather get inebriated than actually have real thought.

It exhausts me, to be the one who has passion.
To be an outsider.
But I don't want to be on the inside of that.

I have an appointment with a school adviser to talk about my withdrawal from AIU today. I got into University of Westminster. I'm going. AIU can SMD.



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